Now, I love, love writing. I majored in English, I teach English - writing is what I do. However, there are just some things in my life so incredible and beautiful and powerful that I lose all eloquence and ability to craft sentences. There are some things that words can not capture, and our first trip to Africa was one of those things. All I can really say is that Ethiopia and Kenya captured our hearts. We fell in love with the people, the cultures, the countries, the continent. And God used this trip to impress Ethiopian adoption onto our hearts.
Since that trip (Nov. 2009), adoption has been gnawing in the back of my mind, clamoring for my full attention. I went back to Ethiopia and Kenya the next summer (2010), further reinforcing my desire to adopt. When I got home, I immediately began researching adoption agencies with programs in Ethiopia. At the same time, Doug and I were moving into our first house, and my baby instinct kicked into high gear. I'm at the point in my life where it seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant, having babies - and furthermore, we began to find out about more and more people who were adopting! We weren't anywhere near financially ready to embark upon the mountainous costs of international adoption. If I'm being really honest - I struggled with a lot of jealousy, anger, confusion, doubt and impatience this past year. I was ignoring God's plan and trying to take things into my own hands. I thought maybe we should have a biological child first. I worried that maybe we weren't really called to adopt. Or, what if we weren't really called to adopt from Ethiopia? And repeatedly, how would we ever afford it?
Adoption Story, Pt. 1: The Planting of Seeds
hi rachel - thanks for letting me share your adoption story. your words are accurate: "there are just some things in my life so incredible and beautiful and powerful that I lose all eloquence and ability to craft sentences. There are some things that words can not capture..."
ReplyDeletethe experience of adoption has, too many times to count, left me breathless and speechless. i cannot find words in this earthly language that describe all it has taught me. that's becuz it's God Himself woven in each stitch of the tapestry. and we don't have adequate words to speak of His mysteriousness and awesomeness. on the flip side, death has done the same thing to our family. we are at a loss for words to describe the loss, the sadness, the.....???? and yet, God is woven throughout this part of our family tapestry too. His fingerprints are all over the place. He does give and take away - blessed be His name. sybille